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Welcome to our blog, where we delve into the topic of menopause from a unique perspective that's important to us and, we hope, you too, that of women in leadership.
Menopause is a natural phase in a woman's life that brings about physical and emotional changes, yet it remains a subject often shrouded in silence and misconception.
We are thrilled to have the menopause pilgrim herself, Karen Markiewicz join us for a fascinating discussion. Karen is a seasoned business leader with a wealth of experience and a leading voice on menopause.
Karen Markiewicz. Menopause Pilgrim.
After fifteen years of working internationally in the charity sector, Karen became a Special Educational Needs Teaching Assistant and Emotional Literacy Support Assistant.
More recently she was working as Lead Chaplain for Winchester City Centre Chaplaincy and at Anna Chaplaincy before founding Menopause Pilgrims.
She has also gained her Master's Degree in Spiritual Formation at Waverley Abbey and is now working on her first book.
We sit down with Karen to share her invaluable insights and personal journey through menopause and what prompted her to start Menopause Pilgrims.
As we explore the challenges faced by women in leadership during this transformative phase, we aim to shed light on how faith, self-care and understanding can pave the way for a more empowering and supportive experience.
Join us as we uncover the story of one woman navigating menopause with grace and strength, proving that this significant life transition need not hinder their leadership prowess but can, in fact, be a source of newfound wisdom and resilience.
Let's dive in!
Can you share your personal experiences with menopause and how it has affected your leadership journey?
My experience of menopause was quite drastic in that my symptoms came on very quickly. I had panic attacks, anxiety, very severe hot flushes and insomnia. So, over the space of a few months, I felt very debilitated and not in control of my body which affected my everyday decision-making. I had brain fog and found it hard to make decisions very quickly. At the time, I was leading a small team of volunteer city centre chaplains. I wanted to hide everything and did not want anyone to know I was struggling, because I felt quite ashamed of what I was experiencing.
When I would have a hot flush, I would tend to walk away or rush off to the bathroom. Whereas now I will just say to somebody "Oh, I am just having a hot flush". I do not get embarrassed by my symptoms anymore.
So, it did affect how I felt, as within my leadership role it really affected my confidence. I had a real dip in confidence and menopausal symptoms just undermined me in the workplace overall.
What are some of the unique challenges women in leadership face while going through menopause and how have you addressed them?
So think one of the challenges I have faced, personally was the brain fog, the real dip in my self-esteem and my self-worth. I recognised this was brought on by my declining hormones, I also recognised that this was not who I was.
So I think the challenge for me was not in my work surroundings or circumstances. I did not feel undermined by anybody, I just felt very undermined by who I was and my own sense of self.
I have read several books especially one by David Benner called ‘The Gift of Being Yourself’ and that transformed my thinking, and my sense of who I am in menopause.
I may not be who I want to be, but I have learnt to just embrace it and be open and honest about that.
How do you balance the demands of leadership responsibilities with managing menopausal symptoms and self-care?
Balancing the demands of my role took me a lot longer in fact everything took me longer, responding to emails and getting work done.
It would take me a long time to think of how to write that in my head, how to communicate to my volunteers, just looking at the day-to-day.
I was a part-time chaplain so it was literally two and a half days a week, but it felt like everything that I was doing in those two and a half days was taking more like four days. So I think at the beginning, I did not balance everything very well.
I felt overwhelmed, I did not look after myself. At the beginning, the first six months, to even a year, self-care did not really happen for me.
From a leadership perspective, why do you think a critical part of women's health? Like, menopause is often overlooked or ignored in society?
Women in leadership roles may face unique challenges during menopause, such as the stigma associated with the condition, the lack of support from their colleagues or managers and the physical and emotional symptoms.
The reason why menopause is often overlooked or ignored in society is that menopausal symptoms are sometimes seen as a sign of ageing and decline.
This can lead to women feeling ashamed or embarrassed about their symptoms and may make them less likely to talk about them. This was certainly my experience.
There is still a lack of understanding about menopause. Many people, including healthcare providers, may not be aware of the physical and emotional symptoms that women can experience during menopause.
GPs have not had much, if any training surrounding helping women through menopause, although this is improving. My experience was to have to pay to see a private menopause specialist. This should not be the case.
Menopause is also too often seen as a women's issue. This can lead to men feeling excluded from the conversation and less likely to be supportive of women who are going through menopause.
It is important to talk about menopause and raise awareness of the challenges that women face during this time. This can help to break down the stigma associated with menopause and ensure that women have the support they need.
From a leadership perspective, it is important to be aware of the challenges that women in leadership roles may face during menopause.
By being supportive and understanding, leaders can help to create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all women.
A few ideas to support women in leadership roles during menopause in the workplace would be to educate people about menopause. The more you know about the condition, the better equipped you will be to support women who are going through it.
Be understanding and supportive. Let women know that you are there for them and that you understand the challenges they may be facing.
Encourage women to talk about their symptoms. It is important for women to feel comfortable talking about their symptoms, so encourage them to do so.
Provide resources and support. There are many resources available to help women with menopause, such as support groups and online forums. Let women know about these resources and encourage them to use them.
Create a supportive environment. Make sure that your workplace is a supportive environment where women feel comfortable talking about their menopause symptoms and getting the support they need.
Have you encountered any misconceptions or stereotypes about menopause in the workplace and how have you addressed or challenged them?
There are still some stereotypes about menopause, such as that it makes women less competent or less capable of leadership.
These stereotypes can make it difficult for women in leadership roles to be taken seriously.
Another misconception is that everyone gets hot flushes, for most women this is not the case. Hot flushes are just one of a vast number of other symptoms which workplaces need to be made aware of.
How have I addressed or challenged them? I think I have learnt to just be brave and say "Oh I am sorry, I am struggling today with brain fog, I cannot find my words, so please bear with me". So I've just learnt to be honest and say it how it is.
How has your faith or spirituality played a role in guiding you through the menopause journey as a woman in leadership?
At the beginning, I found it difficult. I knew my faith was still there. I knew God loved me, but I just found every spiritual exercise that had given me life was now redundant.
I read Richard Rhor’s book ‘Falling Upward’ and he talks about our spiritual holding jars from our younger lives now not being fit for purpose for the second half of life. That really spoke to me, and I thought this summed up where my spiritual life was.
What I would listen to in worship, my prayer times and my Bible reading became quite dry because of my symptoms and experiences of menopause, and I questioned God as to why some women breeze through this transition, yet I was experiencing a tough season.
I found new worship music to listen to and read up on what other Christian women were saying about how they managed their menopausal transition (which is very sparse).
I initiated and tried diverse ways of engaging with God through listening to different podcasts and reading about menopause in other cultures and religions.
I started using imagery and looking at inspirational paintings or photographs and allowed God’s spirit to engage with mine. I listen to different apps and keep mixing up what I listen to from other streams of the Christian faith which has brought great comfort to me.
What advice would I give to other women in leadership roles, who may be approaching or going through menopause?
Within the workplace, find out if your company or business have a menopause policy, these are becoming more common but there is a long way to go.
Talk to your HR department, and find if they have any support that they would be willing to give a woman experiencing menopausal symptoms.
Talk to your doctor, if you are experiencing physical, emotional or cognitive symptoms of menopause. There are treatments available that can help manage these symptoms.
Take care of yourself and make sure to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly. These things can help improve your overall health and well-being.
Find support and talk to other women who are going through menopause. There are also support groups and online forums where you can connect with other women. Please do not give up, menopause is a temporary phase. It is important to remember that you are still the same capable and competent woman you were before menopause.
If you are a woman in leadership, know that you are not alone. There are many women who have successfully navigated menopause while maintaining their careers. With the right support and self-care, you can too.
How do you foster open communication and understanding with your colleagues and team members about menopause and its potential impact on your leadership?
It was easier for me, as I led a mostly female team. Be open and honest about your symptoms and frustrations at the time.
As I already stated find out if your workplace has a menopause policy and if not ask your HR department to look into getting one ASAP. This links in with the question of whether getting a menopause policy in place can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all women not just those in leadership.
Get men informed about the realities of menopause and how it may affect a woman’s work life.
How can our partners both personal and professional help support and understand us during this transition?
We have to be open and honest about how we feel and get the support we need, which is different for every woman.
Get partners both personal and professional to be as informed as possible. Women need to name their symptoms and be brutally honest if their symptoms are having a detrimental effect on their home and work lives.
Why do you think there is often a shame and stigma surrounding the subject of menopause?
There are many reasons why there is often a shame and stigma surrounding the subject of menopause.
Menopause is often seen as a sign of ageing and decline. In many cultures, ageing is seen as a negative thing and menopause is seen as a sign of the end of a woman's reproductive years.
This can lead to women feeling ashamed or embarrassed about their symptoms and may make them less likely to talk about them.
I find as a female Christian living in the UK, there is a lot of negative imagery surrounding menopause in the media.
Menopause is often portrayed as a time of hot flashes, mood swings and weight gain, (which for some is true) This can make women feel like they are going crazy or that they are no longer attractive.
The shame and stigma surrounding menopause can also have a negative impact on women's health and well-being. It can prevent women from seeking medical help and it can make it difficult for them to talk about their symptoms with their loved ones.
It is important to break down the stigma surrounding menopause and to create a more open and supportive environment for women who are going through this natural transition.
What we can do as women in leadership is to talk about menopause openly and honestly. The more we talk about menopause, the less taboo it will become.
Also, educate yourselves about menopause. The more we know about the condition, the better equipped we will be to support women who are going through it and inform others.
Be supportive of women who are going through menopause. Let them know that you are there for them and that you understand the challenges they may be facing.
One of the most important things I feel we can do is to challenge negative stereotypes about menopause.
When we see negative imagery or stereotypes about menopause in the media, we should challenge them.
By breaking down the stigma surrounding menopause, we can help women to feel more comfortable talking about their symptoms and to get the support they need.
Have you found mentorship or support from other women leaders helpful in navigating menopause?
I have found it extremely hard to find mentorship from a leadership perspective to support me through my menopausal transition.
I wanted support and still do from a spiritual perspective, but again have found it difficult to find. This is part of the reason that I want to start a website and Facebook Page called Menopause Pilgrim.
In addition, I'm writing a book, also called Menopause Pilgrims, which is based on my MA research on the spiritual impact menopause can have on a woman’s faith journey. This will be published in late 2024.
There is extraordinarily little literature from a Christian perspective on navigating our journey through menopause. A pilgrimage is a journey to a sacred place and our journey and transition through menopause should be regarded and supported as a sacred journey too.
I have found support through my research, particularly reading some feminist literature on menopause and the importance of sharing our lived experiences of menopause with others.
Even within the church, there is little support for women who struggle through menopause, this needs to change as there is a significant percentage of women who struggle with their mental health also.
How do you prioritise self-care and well-being, while still maintaining your leadership responsibility?
As a woman leader, it is important to prioritise self-care and well-being. This can be challenging, given the demands of leadership, but it is essential for our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health.
Set boundaries between your work life and your personal life. This means learning to say no to requests that are not essential and taking time for yourself each day. This was transformative for me.
Make sure to take breaks throughout the day, even if it is just for a few minutes. Get up and move around, step outside for some fresh air, or close your eyes and relax. Get out in the sunshine for a few minutes when you can.
Exercise regularly as this is a fantastic way to reduce stress and improve your overall health.
Also, try and get enough sleep which is essential for your physical and mental health. Eat a healthy diet as it will give you the energy you need to cope with the demands of leadership.
Seeking medical help such as HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) is a very personal issue, I would advise women to do their research and see what the best option for them is.
HRT has helped me through a difficult season, but I am currently re-evaluating what my options are.
Find ways to relax and try activities that help you relax and de-stress, such as reading, listening to music or spending time in nature.
Seek support, if you are struggling to prioritise self-care, do not be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. I was offered a 6-week course of talking therapy through my GP surgery when I found myself struggling and juggling my leadership, family, ageing parents etc.
It was one the best interventions I was offered as it helped me through a difficult season.
Prioritising self-care is not always easy, but it is essential for our health and well-being.
By making time for yourself each day, you will be better able to cope with the demands of leadership and live a balanced life.
A few things I learnt along the way were to delegate tasks to others and I learnt that it is okay to say no to requests that may put pressure on you.
How has your leadership style or approach evolved as a result of your menopause journey?
My leadership style and my approach are to be extremely understanding. We need to encourage and support women when they request it in the workplace. But for those that do not, that is okay as well.
We need to give them space to be who they are but let them know that support is there if they need it.
I am more informed and educated in many aspects of menopause and how this transition can affect a woman.
Each woman is an individual and will experience menopause differently from others. We cannot put all women of a certain age in the same category, we need an individualised approach allowing each woman to be who God created her to be.
From your experience, what are some of the positive aspects or strengths that women in leadership may gain from going through menopause?
A newfound strength I have experienced is understanding myself and having gained the freedom to be myself in my multiple roles.
My menopausal transition has given me the strength to be brave and to talk about this issue.
Although my self-confidence took a nosedive initially, my experience has caused me to gain self-confidence and given me a mandate to help other women in their transition.
So in closing, what words of advice, Would I offer to other women in leadership, who may be approaching or navigating?
I would advise women to be informed and educated and to be honest and brave when communicating what they are experiencing.
Current statistics in the UK inform us that the highest rate of suicide in females is between the ages of 45 and 55, which is the age most women start to have the menopausal transition.
It is also the highest rate of divorce in women. I recently discovered that the age between 45 and 55 is the highest rate of alcoholism in women.
This says a lot that women are struggling. Menopause can be a hard phase, a hard journey to navigate. If you are struggling, get help my advice is do not hide it. Do not push it down, bring it out into the open because you may think you are the only one feeling this way and I can guarantee that you are not.
Do not suffer in silence!
Thanks to Karen for sharing valuable insights and experiences as a woman in leadership navigating the journey of menopause. Her perspective will undoubtedly inspire and empower others facing similar challenges in their leadership roles.
Together, we can all work towards bringing more awareness to the significance of women's health, including menopause, breaking the stigma and fostering a supportive and understanding environment for all women. If you'd like to reach to Karen, you can contact her here.
We would love to know your own experience of menopause, especially if you're a business owner, director or in a leadership role. How did you manage it? What help did you get from your organisation? What help would you have liked or needed that wasn't available? How we can help others get the help and support they need? Let us know in the comments below.
If this blog has given you some value and you would like to show your appreciation, please consider buying me a virtual coffee. All you have to do is click the button below. I'll try not to milk it.
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